dayz fly by

here it is coming upon the end of another week. today i mentioned to amy, a volunteer in the reignforest, the longer i work in a day the more it seems i have to do. did you ever feel that way? well sometimes i forget - - ok, i may often forget, that i will never ever ever get it all done. that's my brave courageous statement for today. yes, for some of us who are more "structure oriented" we like to have everything done or try to. i can't really say i've accomplished that, but some days i feel i do better than others.

perhaps i'm feeling this way because i'm making time to work on relationships - you know they take a big chunk of time...well it could be. you know i don't think our enemy (you know horns, red cape..? wants us to take time to build relationships. however, i think GOD is very happy when we focus more on relationships then tasks. well now that makes me feel better. guess i'm on my way to a changed mindset about getting everything done.

now i'm off to bed...i can rest "with the undone of the day".

Book Study

Len and I are doing this book study "Wild Goose Chase" written by Mark Batterson. In chapter Four titled "Eight Foot Ceilings", I came face-to-face with my regression to a childhood developmental problem. I'm pretty sure other adults face this but don't want to admit it.
Mark is talking about God instructing Abraham to go out of his tent and look up at the stars in the sky. He was having his focus, attention, perspective redirected. It was clear that God wanted Abraham to unobscure his vision. As long as Abraham held on to his obscured vision it would keep God's promises from his sight. Mark refers to this as "undeveloped psychological capacity in children known as object permanence: out of sight, out of mind. We lose perspective when we lose sight of the promises of God."

I don't know about you, but I confess that I am guilty of object permanence. Yep, sometimes I forget just how big God is. I need to go stargazing and "get a grip" on how small I am. I need to stop putting Eight Foot Ceilings on what God can do in the world around me and wants to do an amazing work in me too.

This book is excellent. Mark says he has prayed for you even before you begin to read this book.

Hey thanks Mark for responding to my note in facebook and I'm glad my word pre-prayers earned a :-) with you. It's good to know your real small-just like me.

Pick it up, I think you'll like the insights God has given to him to share with us.

Unendurable endurance

Today in my one-on-one with my boss I expressed how over the past month I realized my test may have been one of endurance. It had been a long long time since I had faced such a time of depression and turmoil in my life. Somehow, Thank God-he uses times like these to draw me close to Him.

This place was familiar to me with it's sensation of spinning and spiraling. It was a place from the past-not a place I really wanted to visit again. For over 20 years, early on in my marriage, I had suffered with the life-draining beast of depression. At times it had gotten so bad that I thought I must be losing my mind. Turning to doctors and medication I would do different programs and prescriptions but they never seemed to be the answer for me.

People often try to encourage you with wisdom of their own or using God's Word to help "bring you to your senses". You know, "What have you got to be depressed about?" "You need to count your blessings." and on and on. All valid sayings, all justifiable things to do. But perhaps one should consider an option of just being supportive with offering to remember them in prayer, to simply sit by them, walk with them or just be a friend rather than focusing on trying to fix the person or their problem. You can never ever go wrong by remembering a person in your prayers.

This place where I was residing was what I refer to as "the funnel". Imagine yourself living life outside the funnel and all of a sudden you find yourself on a slick slanted surface swirling around and downward into a spiral and as you go lower and lower it gets darker and darker.
This is a dark, lonely, unfriendly place.
It's a place filled with imaginary conversations.
Tell me, is it realistically a place someone would purposely journey to?

I have not been able to blog about this because it's been difficult to understand what the struggle was all about. I'm pretty sure I most likely was suffering burnout. My energy level was so low that I didn't even have fumes to smell. One thing I knew I had to regain margin in my life, like my life depended on it ..because it really did.

So how is it turning around...I've experience some good margin over the past few weeks, setting time to be quiet, enjoy vigorous activity in nature and depending on God's ability to cover me with His wings of protection and teach me His secret of glory-strength endurance. Currently I'm counting more good days than bad ones. It's doesn't looke like it's going to be a 20 year event. Praise God!!

Thank you God for your ability to cover me, provide shelter and your faithful promise of armor and protection.

Psalm 91:4 (New Living Translation)
4 He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Colossians 1:10-12 (The Message)
9-12Be assured that from the first day we heard of you, we haven't stopped praying for you, asking God to give you wise minds and spirits attuned to his will, and so acquire a thorough understanding of the ways in which God works. We pray that you'll live well for the Master, making him proud of you as you work hard in his orchard. As you learn more and more how God works, you will learn how to do your work. We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

My prayer for you today if you are in a dark place is to allow someone to walk beside you, sit with you or pray for you. Then endure the unendurable so you will find the glory-strength that only God can give.

Thanks for reading a little bit about my recent journey.

Silencing Enemies through decision

From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger
Psalm 8:2 (niv)

When you think there's no hope, no place to go because the enemy is in hot pursuit and you feel like you're definitely losing ground or being overtaken...change your thinking. Perhaps you need a heart and spirit transformation.

You've heard the saying "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." Tony Robbins
OK - so it's up to you - your choice. Here's the rub if you don't implement this advice that's OK because that's what you want.

Remember, a real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken new action.
If there's no action, you haven't truly decided. Tony Robbins

Pray this prayer
With you on my side, You who hold the heavens in Your hands You who sustain the entire universe, I need not be afraid of my enemies, of those who wish to harm me, or of the evil one that dogs my steps. With praises to You on my lips and in my heart, my foes are vanquished. You are my great refuge, my rock of strength.

Choices

Christmas can be a very depressing time for many people. Thoughts of unhappiness, lack of what they have or even suicide can hang over people like a black plague.
For years I battled depression. Some months were so dark that I could barely count a good day.
What I have found over the years is, there is hope...you can survive depression! Here are some of the ways I have found to turn my dark days around:

Remember goodtimes, smile check this hyperlink out..did you know this: A smile costs nothing, however it brings great richness to the recipient. I SMILE MORE.

Be thankful for family, friends, food, shelter, freedom, health, sight, physical abilities. There's always someone who is in a worse situation or condition than you. I count the ways I am blessed.

Concentrating on the truth . I know that I am loved by God with a never ending love proven through Jesus Christ His Son. I focus on my personal relationship with Christ, God, the Holy Spirit which helps my relationship with others.

I read more of the Word of God so I can filter all the negative thoughts and happenings through God's truth and not through my feelings.

I Choose each day to follow God's way, to trust my life, my well-being, my future to His care. I choose to change the way I think, the way I act, by renewing my mind. This results in actions of love toward myself and others.
Am I perfect? No..but I have hope of being made new into His likeness more each day.

2 Cor 3:18 All of us, with no covering on our faces, show the shining-greatness of the Lord as in a mirror. All the time we are being changed to look like Him, with more and more of His shining-greatness. This change is from the Lord Who is the Spirit.
New Life Version (NLV)
Copyright © 1969 by Christian Literature International

Grief is desirable?

I read this chapter of Zig Ziglar's book, Confessions of a Grieving Christian and I was reminded of a saying "the bottom of the barrel is under-rated".

Grief, I believe is bottom of the barrel stuff, we don't want to experience it. We forget the best teachers -are not easy ones.

What Zig Ziglar writes is sensible heart talk from God.

Check out the whole chapter, buy it or get it from the library. This book could be lifechanging for you.

Zig lists two things that grief brings us to the point of:
1. Realizing the vastness of our love, and of God's love for us.
2. Grief puts us into a position to trust God alone for our healing and restoration.

He states, "He awaits our turning to Him for comfort and healing." In Psalm 56:8, you can read about how precious God even considers our tears. So much that he stores them in a bottle. So whenever you think no one cares and that your grief is more than you can bear...remember God notes your sadness and HE remembers it!
A turning point as Zig mentions in his book is "the moment we turn to Him, God acts to begin the healing process in our hearts."

Here's a some heart talk from a little guy, who sums it up with humble wisdom: